Joyphilnow’s Blog

A year ago we hit a boar. I wrote about it on an earlier blog…about a year ago. Today we hit a cement barrier. We hit the median, a cement ‘border’ along the 210 freeway, about 10 mles from our home. We likely totaled the Toyata we had bought in August, to replace the replacement Toyota we had bought in January, after we had hit and killed the boar—and totaled our Honda.

We were returning home after a long weekend in Palm Springs. We had enjoyed the five films we viewed there at the Palm Springs International Film Festival. We has also enjoyed the lovely inn we stayed at.

The rain started heavy before Rancho Cucamonga, east of Upland. We stopped in a downpour, at a J C Penny outlet and returned to the Freeway in heavy rain. We were listening to the radio and talking about a some of the films we had seen over the weekend. It was still raining very heavily when I moved out to the car pool lane.  I was flowing with the traffic but suddenly and without warning I felt the back of the car slipping sideways and I immediately knew I was not in control. The back end slid to right, then a bit left, and finally to right again. This  time it floated around and pulled us to the left towards the cement barrier separating the east and west traffic.

The primary impact was against the cement median on  the passenger side of the rear end of the car and our bodies were snapped back and to the right. Joy’s shoulder hit sharply against the passenger door; I felt my head snap back and sideways. We came to a sudden stop, facing the opposite direction of the traffic. Fortunately, the freeway we were on was broad and had an unused lane to the left of the carpool lane. After the impact, we sat silently for a few moments, waiting to hear how each felt, facing oncoming traffic. We soon discovered that we had not suffered serious injuries and we called 911. A voice explained that due to the high volume of calls, I would be put on hold. The wait lasted for only 15 seconds; the operator answered and I explained clearly what had happened: We had had a single-car accident, our car was damaged; we were not seriously injured; we needed the highway patrol, but not an ambulance.

As I was talking to the 911 operator, I saw a fire truck approaching in the fairly heavy traffic, lights flashing.  The driver made his way from the first lane, drew up and stopped in the carpool lane. I got out and went to his door, explaining what had happened. I said we did not need an ambulance. He asked if the car ran. I said I’d try it. I did and it did. I kicked the rear bumper off to the side of the road, leaving it for future drivers to wonder how it got there. The fire truck driver gave me protection as I backed up and did a three point turn and he drove behind me as I wended my way back to the carpool lane and across the third, second, and first lanes, then beyond to the sizable right shoulder. The fire truck drove off to help others and I drove no more than 3-4 miles an hour. When a Highway Patrol vehicle pulled up behind me. I stopped and spoke with the officer. He said he could not accompany me; he had a call to check on an accident, but he might return to me if the accident was in fact out of his district. He drove  on and left me to crawl towards the next exit.

We called our daughter Emily, who was at our home, waiting for her husband to return from Ecuador the following day. We told her we wanted to try to reach our friends’ home and asked her to meet us there. David and Leann Augsburger live in Claremont, about 4 miles from the accident. We drove on to the next exit, “Baseline Drive,” in Claremont.  A mile before that exit, the highway patrolman had pulled up behind me again. I got out and thanked him for returning. He said he would stay with me until I got off of the freeway. He did so, then veering off to help other stormed travelers while we turned west on to Baseline Drive, and continued our slow crawl to the Augsburgers.

The car’s alignment was clearly damaged. Travelling faster that the 3-4 mph, brought shaking in the rear wheels, and some thumping. I wonderd about driving from the scene near the acident but we did not want to wait on the freeway on a day when there would surely be a high demand for emergency services. And, the car seemed to be able to handle the 3-4 mph. Before we reached David and Leann’s home, David pulled up behind us to highway patrol us the last 3/4 mile. We pulled into his driveway and were welcomed with warm blankets, soft couches, warm heating pads, delicious sandwiches, cookies, and tea, and a lot of comforting care.

I reported the accident to our insurance, Geico, and their representative was very helpful. Within 3 hours of the accident I picked up a car rental and we were home within four hours of  the crash.

Our accident could have been much more serious. We had an extra lane left of the car pool lane and we were somehow pulled to ‘that’ lane and the cement divider just beyond it, away from the flow of the relatively heavy traffic. We are very grateful for that. And of course it goes without saying that we did not suffer the trauma of an earthquake and are not without home and food and water. And…the warm care of our friends showed us again how fortunate we are to have them.

My daughter Emily sent me an article  from the Washington Post, about the area of Bolivia she and Andres are staying at for three weeks or so. I wonder about her sending me articles like this. I might walk out of my office one of these days and not turn back. It is such a different, and yes attractive, life there. I have lived in Nigeria, the Philippines, Central America. I spend much of my time keeping relatively wealthy  Saudi, Thai and Taiwanese students, including issuing the document so they can come to the U.S.  I think more often these days about how many years of health I have left and whether I want to take a chance that my health will ‘hold out’ long enough’ for me to do something like that. There are, of course, many factors that determine what we do in our future: Parents and their situation, insurance, work situation, children and their situation. I do dream of living in a place where the difference I make is not to wealthy kids. We’ll see.

Phil, Joy, Daisy (Student Assistant in my office) at the Hollywood Bowl 8/30/09.

I am beginning a new week in a new semester in a new building. It is the same university I have worked at for 11 years. I did not like the move out of an old house, the home of the International and Study Abroad Center. There was little foresight, little attention paid to what our ‘center’ needed. I fought the move and indeed there are problems. Still, I must confess that at 64 years, I am enthused about the new place.We are in a large campus center and it is ’sparkling.’ I do enjoy going to work each day. I anticipate the challenge of making the place work for the needs of international students and students who study abroad. 

An element of this that is subsumed in the experience: I had little say in the decision. In my considerable years of professional work, I have held a variety of jobs in an assortment of settings–international and U.S.-based. Until La Verne I felt I had a bit more of a say in my work life. At La Verne, I feel less in control. This is not to say that I have not enjoyed and do not enjoy my work. There is much to enjoy: international students, the world with me, geographical and cultural learnings each day. Still, I have felt more of a ‘cog’ in a larger machine. 

This is what we all, perhaps, contend with. The President of the U.S. may feel as much a cog of a large machine, notwithstanding his considerable power. How much more should a man on the waning years of his professional life feel such powerlessness?

It is time to get going, to communicate. It is time. My friend Paul, was diagnosed with cancer in April and died in June. We had walked with him, the ‘hike’ we called it, together with his many friends. He died on June 26, that Friday evening. We were not present at his death; we were present with him many timese before he died. We buried his ashes in Mt. Lake, Minnesota. We did so only after we accompanied those ashes to North and South Dakota, to visit cherished cousins: Karen, Sharon, Nancy, Syl, and Jean and dear aunts Marge and Emma. We also visited my dad’s cousin Norman and his wife Darlene. We are back in our ‘routine’: Joy working in LA at IILA and me at the U. of La Verne. We are richer both for our friend’s struggle and for the multitude of family and friends we came to know. We are sadder…and  richer.

Last July Emily our daughter left the U.S. with her husband Andres. They have been living in Ecuador and she has been teaching at an English-speaking K-12 institution in Cumbaya. I have very much and increasingly missed talking with Emily on a regular basis. This morning I called her cell telephone number (expensive) and asked her to go to Skype. She did and Joy and I had a wonderful conversation with her

There is only a slightly larger meaning in this. What parents want their children to live far from them? Joy and I did that to our parents, living out of country for seven years. I lived in Nigeria for three years before that and not once did I talk with my parents by telephone (My mom and I each wrote almost every week.). Jeremy and Christine and their kids are close. Why should I complain? And…maybe after a year of this silence with Emily, we will talk with her  (and Andres) more regularly!

Photos are from the conversation this morning and they include Leo our cat and Charlie our dog.

Friends,
Paul Fast encouraged me to communicate with friends in Peace. He has not been feeling well for a number of months. He has, he said, felt “miserable” with discomfort moving around his body. Recently he has felt distinct pain in his lower back area. Yesterday morning he called me and said that his friend Bill was taking him to Kaiser emergency.

Paul called in the later afternoon and said that he was checking into Kaiser for further tests. They had done a cat scan and found ‘spots’ in a number of areas of his body. By the time I visited Paul, with some toiletries from his apartment, Paul and his internist were of the strong opinion that he in fact has cancer. I was with him until 11:30 pm. During my time there, they did an MRI on him. After the MRI they gave him some pain medication and he was resting comfortably—in good spirits, humor, and thought. He said it was a great relief to “know” something after months of not knowing.

This morning, Paul’s conversation with the internist, further confirmed the diagnosis of cancer. So certain are they, he said, that there is a question whether they will do biopsies. Paul said that the internist was certain that the cancer had set into his spine.

Paul expects to be released by Thursday, after the tests. He hopes to return home at that time. I will keep you posted. I will go over to spend time with him this evening, after an obligation at the university. Feel free to call him and visit him, as you feel appropriate. If he does not answer the telephone, you may leave a message of good wishes: 909/451-1180. I will continue to keep you posted about this dear and wonderful person.

Phil